Friday, December 30, 2011

My New Year's Resolution

1. Lose weight - hehehe every year also the same but never achieved. So, this year have to define the target of ??? kilos to lose.

2. Eat healthy - have to start eat more veggies and fruits.

3. No more credit card - really risky when you have credit card with limit of 100k especially when you treat it like cash. Really suicidal! So in other words have to spend within my means. NO Mulberry or Gucci bags unless I kena jackpot - which is highly unlikely hehehe

4. Exercise - gah! Mandatory things that i always put-off as secondary. Tsk3x.

5. Saving more money each month. So have to spend wisely! Which i never did all my life - always unwise!

I can have 1001 resolution listed, but lets just focus of these 5 for this year!

Friday, November 11, 2011

11.11.11 = Ambivalence

 I received a called from my boss secretary this morning - I will be transferred to HQ effective Monday, 14th November 2011. Today the date I want to remembered being feeling happy and sad at the same time - "ambivalence" a positive and negative feeling.

I've known for months that I will be transferred to HQ because I will be assigned with a new project - I'm actually looking forward for a new things to do - a promise of a new experience. But this fast? Gah! I was hoping these all be happening next year - you know, New Year = New things to do + New experience + New working environment bla bla bla :-)

I actually been hmmm reviewing the good and bad things about all this :

1. BAD No.1
I have to come to go to work early like 8:15am and back at 5:30pm whilst at site office, our office hours until  5:00pm only and coming to work wellll...after I have my breakfast (can't say what time - afraid my boss might be reading this hehehehe)

2.  BAD No. 2
At HQ so many bosses whilst at site, I'm the boss (I mean I'm still coolie-lah, but because all the bosses at HQ, so I'm the boss here hehehehe)

3. BAD No. 3
I will not going to have my own room - don't dream-lah - managers (below GM) at HQ got partition only hehehe, whilst at site I have a room with a big space - I say bigger than our GM space hahaha. I love having a room, more private, comfortable, and hmmm...I just love having a room-lah.

4. The only GOOD things at HQ (apart of my new assignment) is that - I'm will not working on Saturday yeaaaa!!! Meaning can jalan-jalan on Saturday! Can spend more time with my dude and my 2 dudans. Meaning I can say TGIF!!hehehe...and that's all count. I feel good already!! (Really??)

Wokeyy, I'm ready for Monday - hope it will make a difference in my life (I mean good difference)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish

Inspiring speech by Steve Jobs - my favourite and well worth listening to. 
(Check-out You Tube for the vc)

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

I think the best way to describe the meaning of Stay Hungry Stay Foolish is :

Stay Hungry
Always keep wanting something more, something new. Don't be too easily satisfied or grow too comfortable.

Stay Foolish
Always keep an open mind, never think that you know everything. Stay foolish and keep learning new things.

With that I wish to myself and the visitors of my blog - Stay Hungry Stay Foolish.

Pics and full text speech - credit to Google.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

An engineer in the house?

An engineer (that's me ahhh) haven't write a book (yet) but this doctor did! After the 3rd visit to MPH, I finally manage to get this book - "A Doctor In The House" yeyyyyy. I bought it last Saturday. You know this book selling like a hot cake and I have to ask the MPH staff to reserve it for me!

The doc in my office heh

I'm always a biggest fan of Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. I follow his blog from the first day Tun enters the blogworld (at that time he was using blogspot...and suspended Tun account because they thought the blog was a spam - too many visitor per day!!) and now he's in facebook - even better!!

The first time I met him and his wife, I think it was10 years ago. I remembered being so excited and brag about it with my colleagues for a whole week hehehehe. He's soft spoken and so as Tun Dr. Siti Hasmah. When we met, he did most the talking cause I was...speachless...hehehehe.

Can't say much about the book now, just started reading and now at page 60 out of 843 pages hehehe...really slow...cause yesterday I spent the whole day reading "Dear John" by Nicolas Sparks (I read e-book for this novel) - like always when Sparks wrote - someone must die hishhhh. The day before that, I read Smooth Talking Stranger by Lisa Kleypas and The Lady Most Likely - a collaborative romance novel by Julia Quinn, Eloisa James and Connie Brockway. So you see...I've been busy :-) and I have to make time for my other passion as well - baking! I was suppose to bake macarons again after I fail on my last hu hu

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Ice cream, keropok and kereta.....

This is a story of my sons name Aliff Zarfan and Afran Zaquan

Normah - 2 weeks ago
Aliff Zafran
Dr. Alex : Aliff - no ice cream, no cold water, no keropok
Aliff : Ma, no keropok?
Me : Yes, no keropok.
Aliff : Kereta??
Me : No kereta
Aliff : ice cream, no keropok - kereta boleh!
Me : (Bo-layan)

Normah - 1 week ago.
Afran Zaquan
Dr. Alex : Flu again? No...(didn't able to say the whole sentences hu hu hu cause adek says...)
Adek : Mintakk....mintak popok (keropok)
Dr. Alex : (Laughing) Ingat makan saja...
Me : (LOL - memalukan sungguh but he's cute - so it's acceptable hehehe)

Time flies and both of them growing so fast! I remember being so worried with Aliff cause at age of  almost 3 years old he was really slow to talk. Was thinking there are something wrong and worst case is autism. Praise to Allah, it was just a false alarm. Now he can speak well (terlampau pandai actually).

At home (our normal conversation)
Aliff : Ma, no ice cream?
Me : No ice cream
Aliff : No keropok?
Me : No, no keropok
Aliff : Cola putih (meaning 100 plus)?
Me : Cola putih boleh
Aliff : Sa-yuy (Sayur = Vege) ?
Me : Sayur boleh
Aliff : Ayam (Fried chicken) boleh
Me : Boleh
Aliff : Kereta??
Me : (Usually at this point I pretend to think...then) No kereta.
Aliff :Ooooo....(think for a while...then)
Aliff : No ice cream, no kerepok, Sa-yuy boleh, Ayam boleh...(pause)....kereta??
Me : .^__^
Adek : Keta (kereta = car) ....(then)....mintak popok (saying it out loud!!!)

Hu hu hu......Adek latest obsession is car, to be precise - Mater - an old towing truck in Cars movie. He would watch it over and over again. He also remember the scene in those movies - like fire scene, before the fire appear...he would shout.......apiiiiiiiiiiiiii......

Adek Afran watching Cars movie

Mater - pic taken by Adek

Saturday, March 5, 2011

What a Busy Day!

Though I'm happy with my recent promotion and salary adjustment *wink*wink*wink*. But I have to work like no tomorrow - busy with the re-planning of the project (changes of plans and budget like overnight....uwaaaa!!) and my other project going to be kick-off soon hu hu hu. Tired wehhh, dah macam tak cukup tanah nak lari.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Red red red...everywhere

I saw red everywhere I go, The Spring (like - no other shopping mall in Kuching?? duh!!) and even the road to my friend house have the red tanglung hanging on the street lighting post - nice, of course-lah, it's Chinese New Year!!

I went to my friend house on first day of CNY, whom of course wearing red colour blouse. But unfortunately I didn't get the red ang pow!! Obviously, I'm too old for that hu hu hu. I must say that my friend, Ms. Jong bake a really nice biscuits - small and cute!!! Cantik sangatttt - geramm tengok. After that I got motivated to bake a small and cute biscuits like her, which I didn't cause I decided to bake a red cake instead.

This is what I bake for CNY - Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Chinese believe red is an auspicious colour. I love red colour and I have red sofas at home :-). (Motif sangat nak bagitau...hehehehe)

I don't know why I've been putting-off baking Red Velvet Cake for so-long. Baking this cake is really a pleasure - very moist, nice texture, red red red... ;-). I say, this time I manage to smoothed the frosting - thanks to You Tube - great tips for cake deco etc. But the deco still need improvement (alot!!)- practice practice practice.

And ohh, I went visiting to one Chinese friend's house only. Only one!!! Me so terok ahh...hiasshhh!! Sorry to my other friends, not that I don't want to go, but with my 2 expensive Chanel handbags (my sons lah), can be really challenging! Plus the pouring rain all day, yada yada yada hehehe....Anyway, I wish all Happy Chinese New Year. 
May this year of Rabbit bring you and your loved ones good health, fortune and prosperity.